Today is the first day of kindergarten for my boys, no longer babies, physically and mentally, but babies in my eyes. And really forever. No matter how long you have, you are never really prepared for what you kids can do to you. No matter how strong you think you are emotionally, you never know when you stomach will be in knots or a flood of tears will overtake you and you are left with a pile of tissue smeared with all your makeup and your husband looking at you like you are Rocky Balboa screaming "ADRIAN!"
The hubs and I walked the boys to their classroom. Both Dean and Sam exclaiming how excited they were for kindergarten. They are no stranger to being left in the care of others. They have been going to daycare since they were 15 months. They have been in separate classrooms since they were 3. They know the drill. To them it is just a different school with new friends to meet. They have no separation anxiety and no fears. Much unlike their mom on this first day.
The boys settled into their seats and we said our goodbyes. We went to the tears and tissue room where the PTO prepared these tear worthy packets. I met other moms and surprisingly, no one was in tears.
As the hubs and I walked out the door, and closed behind us, I was hit with the realization that this was it. The start of their school journey, no going back. Up until this point, I kept it together but once in the car, the waterworks flowed. The hubs asked why I was crying now and not in the boohoo room. He told me that they will be fine. They weren't tears from worrying about their safety or well being. It wasn't from worry if they will do well or make friends. They weren't even tears that they were growing up so fast and that the years grow shorter until they they will leave the nest. My tears were from gratefulness that God allowed me to be their mom. That he thought me worthy enough to care for such amazing kids. Mine were tears of happiness because they are the best things that have ever happened to me. So this is my wish for them as they embark on their journey.
It's just the beginning...